30/09/2008 01:44. Attractive young girls have been throwing themselves at me, married women have been filing decree nisis, and random blokes have tried to befriend me - probably to accept their wives' advances.

I have also noticed plod eyeing me up, with a view to kicking in my door in the depths of night and ransacking my house in search of drugs, guns and other underworld paraphernalia. I'd put my mortgage on this car ending up in a Guy Ritchie gangster flick sometime soon.

Meanwhile, on a journey to Essex, I had to request a BP fuel tanker to escort me, with a hosepipe docked to the car at all times as a life support machine, to prevent my charriot slipping into a hard shoulder coma.

At one point, I swear I saw batallion of Rainbow Warriors hurling a barrage of compacted sheep dung rocks at me.

And... // Retford Today

Total: 2 news articles
First News Article: Worksop Today, 30/09/2008 00:15